Switch the positions of "doctor" and "writer," and you've described me perfectly! I've diagnosed a few strange maladies, much to the amazement of actual doctors! They were impressed! I've lost a couple of patients since then, and it has crushed my soul. I tell myself it's because I've spent a lifetime practicing writing, that maybe I haven't got a knack for doctoring, after all. I should probably quit now, before the hospital catches on that I didn't go to med school...