When Tech Support Calls, Tell Them…

“It Won’t Be Bothering You Again”

An eager young rep from “Microsoft tech support” called me, one morning, to inform me that my computer was sending distress signals to its central servers, for weeks, now, and was infected by some sort of virus or hacking software and warned me it might stop working.

“Are you sitting in front of your computer, ma’am?”

“No. And it’s not on. It’s not even connected to — wait, you’re saying that, even while it’s off, it’s sending messages to Microsoft?”

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