I totally agree, Sharon! I'll admit to having felt unnecessarily "slapped" a time or two (e.g., doing things like asking "where are you from" or extending what I, myself, would have taken as a compliment), and to appreciate being "gently" corrected when I hurt someone's feelings.

MOST people can tell when it's ignorance vs. thoughtlessness vs. intentional, though. MOST people can tell when those calls for "grace" or "civility" or "forgiveness" are disingenuous or defensive.

The one that gets me - OFTEN (because I'm often the target of it, despite NOT being a "humorless bitch") - is "Calm down, it's just a joke!" Yeah, my ass - they knew it was offensive, assumed no one would call them out, and now want to make it all the other person's fault. I used to buy into that nonsense. I actually used to wonder if I did lack a sense of humor. And then I learned the comedian's rule: "Punch up, never down." They just weren't funny. That's on them.