I hear you, Jill, and I want to agree with you - for the most part, I do.

But we have been fed a steady, if disingenuous, diet of "tolerance" for the intolerable, "no judgment" for the things that ought to be judged, for so long our collective brains have fallen out.

We should tolerate that which harms NO ONE. But we should question, push back, and perhaps shun that which HURTS others - especially where it is deliberate or avoidable. Racism, for example, cannot be "tolerated." Imposing one's religion on people who worship differently (or not at all) cannot be "tolerated."

Differences of opinion - which color looks best on the living room wall, or whether crab is more delicious than steak - those things can be tolerated. Shockingly blue hair should be tolerated. Tattoos should be tolerated.

But I am done thinking my fellow adults will have a great epiphany and stop behaving towards others in ways that really ought NOT to be "tolerated." I think the idea that that's okay stems from wholehearted pop-psych attempts to eradicate ALL sense of shame, even where shame or guilt are warranted, and to push tolerance at all costs, but usually - really - only for the benefit of those who say and do the intolerable.