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Relationships — September 10 Writing Prompt
Family by Birth and Choice
Family is ultimately what we make of it
I remember confessing to my mother, when I was little, that I did not think I loved all the family members I named in my nightly prayers. “Is that okay?” I wondered. “Am I a terrible person?”
She explained to me, then, that she thought there were two kinds of love: one, a familial love that you accorded, like respect, out of the bonds of birth and “duty.” You may not like them much, but they are family. Nothing to feel guilty about, provided you were respectful and kind. The other was the kind of love you choose to bestow upon another person — a more affectionate love. To love and to like them. How wonderful when you feel both kinds of love towards your family members!
So, what is family? Family, to me, encompasses the family we’re born into — the ones we didn’t choose and who didn’t choose us. But it also encompasses those we choose to call family: spouses, family-by-marriage, and those ride-or-die friends we think of as family, even though we’re not related by blood. Devoted pet owners think of their furry friends as family, too.
Family, in the end, is what you think it is. Ultimately, we choose our family members intentionally. Love doesn’t always mean…
