Except that, to be honest, the only “sexting” (solicited OR unsolicited) I’ve ever done is with said nurse, and it went something like this (usually at 3 AM): “Holy shit, is this color normal? Does this mean it’s going to fall off? Oh, please tell me it’s not about to fall off after all that… I did NOT know bruising could look like that… Daaaaaamn.” Not real sexy stuff, there. We pulled the last JP drain out of me in the bathroom at her house, because I was so done I was ready to pull it out all by myself.

She said something about how she and her husband shared a cell phone, but I’m choosing to trust them both — up to a point — I made sure my face wasn’t showing. LOL